Redial
by tenspeed457
Summary: The bargain that Howard made three years ago has come back to haunt him. Can he rescue Vince before anything horrible happens?   *T for language, sexual references, and drug use. it's Naboo and Bollo, so of course there will be drugs!
1. Chapter 1

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter One~

* * *

Although he had been able to clamp his hair iron onto the old Lecher's nose before any actual harm was done, Vince still, to this day, wondered exactly how he'd ended up in that situation in the first place. After all, Howard had been right there on the porch with Jack, and then he'd apparently just… left him there to fend for himself? That couldn't be right. Howard know how much the geezer freaked him out; surely he wouldn't be so trusting of him? And why did he go out to pinkie ridge that night, anyway? Sure, he knew that Howard wanted to get a photo of the yetis, but how had he even known where to look? He wasn't clever enough to figure it out on his own, that was for sure. He had concluded that Kodiak Jack must have said or done something drastic enough to make Howard leave suddenly like that. Although curious, Vince had never been brave enough to ask Howard about it. He was afraid that he might learn something about his best friend's loyalties that he wouldn't like, and so he pulled a typical Vince Noir, and pretended to forget all about it. He wasn't quite as clueless as everyone seemed to think, but he did play it up a bit at times- it could come in very useful. It had been three years since that fateful camping trip, and he really had almost forgotten about it. He was waiting for Howard to come back to the shop. Naboo and Bollo were on a weekend trip to visit Bollo's family, and Howard had been to visit his mum. He wasn't due back for at least another few hours- so Vince was pleasantly surprised when there came a knock on the door.

"Come on in, Howard. I've left it unlocked for you, mate." He heard the door open and then close. "So, how'd it go? She as bad as ever?" Howard said nothing, but grunted, growling low in his throat. Vince laughed. "That bad, eh? " He shook his head. "Sorry, mate." He finally looked away from his reflection to glance at Howard- or rather, what he had thought was Howard. "W-what you doing here?" He shouted at the yeti that was standing there, looking at him expectantly. "Get out, you wanker! Can't you read? We're closed!" He hated it when they got pushy customers.

"Urrrrggghhhh..." The yeti moaned, walking towards him.

"Stay back!" He warned, brandishing his hair iron. It wasn't on, but the beast didn't know that. It screamed, as if in pain, clamping its over-sized paws over its nose. Vince brandished the iron, stepping closer to the beast. It roared in fear before turning and running out of the shop. Vince slammed the door shut, locking it with trembling hands. "That was bizarre… holdin' its nose like that?" The loud ringing of his alligator pone cut into his thoughts. "'Ello?"

"Vince?"

"Hey, Naboo! How's Bollo's family?"

"Never mind that, are you all right?"

"I fink so, why? What's up?"

"Bollo says he has a bad feeling about you being alone in the shop."

"'E been eating ice cream again? You know he's lactose intolerant," Vince tsked.

"Oh, yeah… that's right. You sure everything's okay, though?

"Yeah, yeah." Vince laughed, having once again caught sight of his reflection. "Little bit of trouble with a customer a moment ago, but I fought 'im off, sent him running."

"Good job, Vince. See, Bollo? I told you he'd be fine." The ape grunted. "Well, sorry about that. I'll let you go then.

"Cheers, Naboo!"

"You idiot," Naboo shook his head. "You been eatin' milk products again?"

"No! Bollo lactose intolerant."

"Then why you feelin' sick?"

"Vince in danger!"

"Yeah, I just talked to him, he seemed fine, didn't he?"

"Vince not always the smartest. Howard either."

"Oh, you're right. What was I thinking, not hiring a babysitter for the two of them? We'd better wrap things up here. I'll pack, you go have a word wif your mum. You'll have to drive, though. After that last turban-full of tequila, I fink I might pass out."

* * *

Shoo be doo wop, de do wop, doobe do wop…" The quiet skat singing wafted down the street as Howard hummed. He'd had a decent visit with his mum, once he'd convinced her that the photo in his wallet was, in fact, Vince, and not his new 'lady friend.' "Hold up, what's this?" He reached for the piece of paper stuck to the door.

"Howerd TJ Moon: You promised me something that I wonted, in return fer something you wanted. You got what you wanted, but I didn't get what I wanted. So I've come to take it instead. Hope you don't miss him too much!- your friend, old Kodiak 'Burnt nose' Jack."

Howard felt his stomach drop. Surely, this was some sort of sick joke? But who else knew about that agreement, between himself and Jack? No one. He'd thought that Jack was dead. After all, they'd left him with the overly horny yeti queen and her minions… no man could survive the likes of that! Perhaps he hadn[t died, after all… "Vince!" Howard shouted, throwing open the door. "Vince, little man, where are you?"

"Howard?" Came the puzzled, slightly alarmed voice off his best friend. "Howard, is that you? You'll never believe the crazy customer I had in here, 'e was all hairy, and-"

""Oh, thank god Vince! You're okay!"

"What are you on about Howard? Of course I'm alright…"

"Thank god!" He threw his arms around Vince's neck.

"Alright, what's all this hugging rubbish about?"

"Naboo! You got here just in time!" Sobbed a hysterical Howard, once he'd detached himself from Vince. "Naboo, Help me!" He small shaman exchanged a look with his familiar.

"Told you so," The gorilla muttered.

"Alright, Howard. What sheems to be the problem?" The shaman asked, slurring his words slightly. Howard shoved the note at Naboo, hiding his face shamefully in his hands. "What is this bloke on about? What did you promish him?" Howard glanced quickly at Naboo, his shifty eyes darting nervously around the room. "Can-Can I talk to you in private?"

"Alright, come upstairs with me." Howard followed the shaman, ignoring looks from Vince and Bollo alike. "Okay, now. Tell me everything." Howard explained how, three years prior on their camping trip, the shifty old man had offered him a map to the yetis' lair, asking for only one thing in return: Some alone time with Vince. "Well, you did turn him down, didn't you?" Naboo asked uneasily, taking a huge drag on the pipe.

"No!" shouted Howard. "No, I didn't! He gave me the map, and I let him in! I sold Vince off in exchange for a stupid map! If he hadn't had a hot iron, and if you and Bollo hadn't shown up just then..." He shook his head. "I've never forgiven myself."

"Not sure if I can forgive you either," Naboo told him, a sympathetic look on is face. "That is pretty bad. And you did tell him you would protect him."

"I know, alright? I know. There hasn't been one day that I don't regret trading Vince for that map."

"Excuse me?" came an outraged voice from the door, and Howard felt sick when he realized that the one person who couldn't know had been listening. "You traded me for a what? A map?"

"Vince, no!" Howard protested, his gaze on his best friend imploring. "I'm sorry, Vincey! I didn't mean for it to happen like that! I knew nothing bad would happen! I knew you could take care of yourself!"

"Oh really? And what if I 'adn't been straightening my hair before bed, eh? What if I didn't have a hot iron at the ready, to clamp on 'is nose for self defense?" He was practically crying, the hurt from the betrayal stung so deeply.

"Well… I'm sorry, Vincey. I'm terribly sorry. I would never do it again, you know that, right?"

"Do I?" Vince spat back. "You did it once, didn't you? And what's wif the note, anyway?" He snatched it from Howard's hands. "Absolutely brilliant, Howard. He's come back for me? I don't believe this!"

"I didn't know he was even still alive! Don't yetis eat their mates when they're done with them?"

"That's praying mantises, you idiot," Naboo corrected him.

"Shut it, Naboo! Vince! I'm sorry, mate! Hey, what are you doing? Where are you going?" Howard called as Vince began rummaging about, throwing things into a huge duffel bag.

"Away from here, and away from you!" He snapped back at Howard.

"Vince, are you mental? He'll come get you!"

"Well if I can fight off a crazy yeti customer, I fink I can fight off a crazy rapist, even if my best mate did trade me to him for a blasted map!"

"Yeti customer?" Bollo asked. "Was probably friend of Jack."

"He's right, Vince. You should stay here," Naboo told him matter-of-factly.

"I can't stay here. I'm staying with Pete Neon; 'e's rich enough to afford body guards for both of us."

"Vince!" Howard shouted, stepping to follow him out the door.

"I wouldn't, Howard," Naboo warned.

"But he'll be taken by yetis…"

"Don't worry, Pete's already got 'is limo out there." Sure enough, there was a flamingo pink stretch limo waiting for Vince, the avian rock star waving at Vince.

"Vince, I'm sorry…" His words fell on deaf ears as Vince turned his back on him, getting into the car.

Damn that Kodiak Jack and his yeti associates!

* * *

A/N: I've been watching the Mighty Boosh so much lately, and now that I've started working on the fanfic, I keep saying things like Naboo, most of all for some reason. probably because he smokes about as much as I do. But anyway, I was watching the Call of the Yeti episode, and I thought that it was pretty much written for me to fanfic. So this one is called Redial, because it's like the Call of the Yeti, but they call back... redial... no, I'm not high or anything. ANYWAY, I found out that they were at Comicon last year... if they're there again, I am SO going.

Sorry for any discrepancies or whatever... I just changed a few major things that totally contradicted each other, so hopefully I didn't miss anything big.

also-I know I should be working on my other fanfics, please don't shoot me. but I had this one in my head and I had to write it down... yeah. I love Mighty Boosh. Just sayin.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

let me know what you think!

~alex~


	2. Chapter 2

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Two~

* * *

Vince was in shock. He'd never dreamed that Howard could have done something like this to him.

"I mean, I fought I could trust 'im, you know?"

"Ka-Kaaaa! Sounds like a right wanker, that mate of yours. I mean, did you see 'is hair? How could you stand to be near him?" Vince cringed at the mention of Howard's hair. It had always been a point of content between them. Howard was very defensive of his stringy, mud-colored mop, so Vince had been forced to suffer in silence for years. It pained him almost physically that his best mate's locks could be in such a state, and that he could do nothing about it.

"Tell me about it. I mean, he's my mate and all, but 'e's right embarrassing, he is." Pete 'kaa-ed' in agreement. "But for the most part, 'es a decent guy. 'E tries to look out for me, even if 'e's not the smartest bloke."

"But then why did 'e trade you to the yeti?" Speaking of blokes who weren't the smartest... Vince had tried to explain at least five times to Pete that Kodiak Jack was not a yeti, but the rock star kept getting confused. Not that it was really his fault; he was half bird, after all. Vince shrugged, sighing.

"I dunno. I mean, it _was_ a long time ago. We were young, 'e was jealous of me and my wild success. 'Specially when I got the credit for discoverin' the yetis." He frowned slightly. "But I guess he deserved it, seeing as he left me to get bummed by an old perverted wilderness freak."

"Kaaah." Vince sighed, setting the hand-held mirror on the table. He must have been coming down with a fever or something; he didn't even feel like preening.

* * *

"Okay, so I gotta find this guy and get rid of him!"

"Are you contemplatin' murder, Howard?" Naboo asked from the sofa, where he and Bollo were passing the hookah's mouthpiece back and forth. "'Cause that's some serious weight on the conscience. I don't really fink you could handle that kinda strain." Bollo grunted, shaking his head.

"What do you mean? I'm Howard Moon; I don't buckle so easily, I think you'll find."

"Oh really? You couldn't even kill that jazz virus that 'ad infected Vince!"

"He told me that he was related to me... I couldn't kill my own family!" Naboo shook his head, blowing smoke into Howard's face.

"I still don't believe that you fell for that. Although, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Howard demanded.

"Oh," Naboo giggled. "I fink you know."Howard sighed.

"Look, you're not helping. Can't you just turn him into a rock or something? I mean, this guy wants to rape Vince, you know.  
"Yeah, vat is pretty serious... but Vince is safe for now, so since this is your mess, you might as well clean it up."

"Oh, thanks a lot, you stupid, high shaman. Piss off." He got up and stalked away to the room that, until recently, he had shared with Vince.

"Why not tell him your license suspended?" Bollo asked once he was sure that Howard wouldn't hear him. Naboo shrugged.

"Not really somefin' people need to know about, you know? Might try to take advantage of it. Besides, it really _is_ 'is fault. 'Ow about you check up on Vince?"

"You not check on him?" Naboo shook his head, his turban sliding slightly to the side.

"Nah. I'm off to bed. I'm too high to dial the phone." Bollo grunted, nodding.

"'Ello?" The voice that answered was slightly hoarse.

"Vince?"

"'Ey, Bollo, mate! What's 'appening wif you?"

"Is Vince okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Fanks for checkin' on me."

"Vince sounds distraught."

"Well, I'm a bit upset about how fings are right now, wif Howard and all..." Bollo thought he heard Vince sniffle, but chose to ignore it.

"Don't worry, Yeti man won't get Vince."

"Fanks, Bollo. I'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Mm. Good night, Vince."

"Night Bollo." Bollo hung up the receiver.

"Well? 'Ow is 'e?" Bollo grunted in response.

"Vince might have been crying."

"Crying? Did the yeti-man get 'im?" Naboo asked seriously.

"No. Upset about Howard." Naboo stared blankly at his familiar for a moment.

"Well what's wrong wif Howard? Did the yeti-man get 'im?" Bollo sighed.

"No. They're fighting. Go to bed." Naboo nodded, smiling, his turban falling to the ground.

"Whoops. Guess I'd better go to bed after all." After that last stunt that Howard had pulled, picking up a trumpet in a crowded flea market and summoning the spirit of jazz, Naboo had had to sign off his powers for two months. Apparently as the 'closest shaman to the scene of the mishap,' he was supposed to have 'prevented' it from happening. Or some rubbish like that. Basically, Dennis had been fighting with his wife again, and wanted to take it out on somebody. Naboo had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

* * *

"Alright, I can do this. I'm Howard Moon..." Howard muttered to himself as he tried to comb his unruly mustache. He was trying to convince himself to do something about the situation at hand, but he couldn't figure out what to do. So he was stalling. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "I am going to go outside and find that bastard." He pulled on his utility vest and his safari hat and strode out the door into the night. "Oops, forgot the torch..." He went back to retrieve the flashlight, only to find that the door was locked and he'd forgotten his key in his other pair of pants. "Brilliant." Now he was stuck outside in the middle of the night without a flashlight, going to find yetis and a madman. He'd been walking around the streets for a while when he suddenly heard a snorting, snuffling noise that sounded like either a homeless man or a yeti. It turned out to be a homeless yeti, searching for food in the garbage can.

"What do you want, can't you see I'm a little busy?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. Say, you didn't see any other yetis around here, did you?" The homeless yeti shrugged, and Howard felt his heart drop.

"Little while ago, couple of young ones and a creepy old human."

"R-Really? Well, you wouldn't know where they went, by chance, would you?" The yeti pointed down a particularly dark alley.

"Down there. I think they're staying at the motel." Howard couldn't believe his luck!

"Thank you very much, sir. Have a good... rummage." He set off down the path that the yeti had indicated. It did sort of reek of wet animals, so Howard thought that he must be on the right path. Before long, the alley gave way to a dingy looking street, all of the buildings boarded up except for the motel. "Well, that must be the one..." He walked quickly across the street, entering the lobby of the motel. "Um, hello..." The receptionist was slumped over the desk and didn't appear to be breathing. "Right. Just... don't get up. I'm just here to visit someone." He walked hurriedly down the hallway, following the trail of shredded wallpaper and carpeting. He stopped at a door that was scratched to splinters, snuffling noises audible from behind. Tentatively raising one hand, he knocked, cringing as all noise stopped. The door was flung open and something grabbed Howard roughly by the front of his utility vest. "Please don't kill me, I've got so much to give!" He sobbed as he was hauled into the room.

"Is that so?" He recognized the distinctive tones of Kodiak Jack. "Why you here, boyo?"

"I need to talk with you," Howard said, trying his hardest to ignore the two yetis flanking the old man.

"Yeah? Well maybe I don't wanna talk to you! See, I know why you is here, and I don't like it."

"Y-Yeah, well, I need you to stay away from Vince." Jack laughed, and the two yetis growled deep in their throats.

"If you try to keep me away from my Vincey, I'll have these two rip yer guts out!" He laughed again. "See, when you left me there with that ravenously horny pack of yeti females, I didn't escape unscathed. These two are the products of that night."

"So they're your... your..." Howard was appalled, to say the least.

"My offspring? Yeah. And they're gonna help me find my Vincey!"

"Please, leave Vince alone! Can I offer you anything else in exchange for him?" the old man spat on the floor.

"Hell no! I been waitin' three years for this, and I'll be damned if I'll let you take it away from me! Now you'd better get outta here before I have you removed!"

"Vince is safe! You'll never get him!" Howard shouted over his shoulder as he hurried out of the room.

"What, you mean at that bird-guy's house?"

"N-No. I mean, what bird-guy?"

"You know damn well which bird-guy I mean. You just wait, I'll get my Vincey." He slammed the door in Howard's face. Howard rushed out of the hotel and back to the shop, where he pounded on the door until a disgruntled Bollo opened it for him.

"What?" The ape grunted.

"Jack knows where Vince is! He's not safe!"

"Oh, shut it, Howard!" Naboo called from the stairs. "Is only six in the morning. Besides, he'll be safe wif Pete."

"No! Remember? This guy is a trapper! He kills animals for fun! He'll know how to trap Pete!" Howard explained with urgency. Naboo and Bollo looked at each other, and spoke simultaneously.

"Shit."

* * *

A/N: hey, what's up? I was reading mighty boosh fanfics and decided to update! let me know what you think, I'm having so much fun writing it! sorry if it doesn't make sense in some parts, or if I mess some stuff up. I think I mentioned my love for... certain things that Bollo and Naboo also love last chapter.

thank you sooo much for the nice reviews, I get really excited whenever I get a review, and I really like hearing what you have to say. so review!

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

um... I'll update again, as soon as I can. :D

~alex~


	3. Chapter 3

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Three~

* * *

"Well... What are we going to do?" Howard asked when Naboo and Bollo stared at him.

"Well, why didn't you 'get rid of him' when you had the chance?" Naboo asked. Howard threw his hands in the air.

"Because! He's got two of his yeti children with him."

"What did you say?"

"Two of his yeti kids from when we left him with the queen yeti..."

"Yeti-human hybrids? This is some bad juju, Howard. They're much stronger than just regular yetis. We'd better call Vince, tell him to look out and we'll come get him." He picked up his aligator phone, but before he could dial, it began ringing obnoxiously. He shot a look at Bollo, who shook his head sadly. "Oh no... 'Ello? Oh, hello Pete. Yeah, that's what we were just about to call about... what? Gone? I fought you had good security at that place!" Howard felt his heart sink. "Yeah, we'll be there as soon as we can." He hung up, tossing the car keys to Bollo. "Here, get the car." Bollo grunted, heading for the back of the shop.

"Why not take the carpet?" Howard suggested. "It would be much quicker." Howard suggested.

"It's... in the shop for repairs. One of the corners has started fraying, and you know how unreliable they are when that happens." Howard laughed.

"Do we ever, sir." He fell silent when he realized what he'd said, hoping Naboo wouldn't pick up on it.

"We? Were you about to launch into one of yours and Vince's crimps?"

"N-no," Howard stammered. "Oh, look. Bollo brought the car."

"Right, let's go then." The diminutive shaman shook his head. "Probably a hopeless task."

"How can you talk like that? This is Vince's wellbeing we're talking about here!"

"Oh, shut it. This whole mess is your fault anyway." Howard sighted heavily.

"Yes, Naboo. I realize that. You don't have to rub it in."

"Actually, I fink I do. You just nip out there wiv Bollo, I'll be out in a moment." Once Howard was out the door, Naboo grabbed his aligator phone, dialing the 'Shaman Emergency Hotline.'

"'Ello?" Came an obnoxious voice on the other end.

"Tony Harrison? Is that you?"

"Who else? Who's this?"

"It's Naboo."

"Oy, this 'ad better be an emergency, you know you're not supposed to be in contact until the end of the month."

"It is an emergency! This old mountain bloke has come back with his yeti children and kidnapped Vince. He's goin' to rape him."

"Vince?"

"Yeah, you know. My mate with the hair."

"The one that looks like a woman?"

"That's the one."

"Alright, Naboo. I'll talk to Dennis, see what I can do. He's got his hands full with Kirk at the moment, though."

"Really? What's that bloke up to now?"

"You know, usual tricks. Trippin' balls at the moment. Not really sure what he took." Naboo sighed. Leave it to Kirk, the most innocent and inconspicuous member of the board of shamans, to be the craziest and most out of control of them all. If there was anything to be said for him though, it was that he could handle his drugs.

"Well, let me know if you can help me," Naboo sighed, hanging up and rushing out to where Howard and Bollo were now honking the horn impatiently.

* * *

"Ouch..." Vince sat up, holding his head. "What the hell happened? Feel like I've been hit by a train..."

"Mornin', little Vincey!" Came a revolting voice. Despite the pounding headache and nausea, Vince sprung up from where he was laying- in an unfamiliar bed, flanked on either side by mounted animal heads.

"What's happened?" He gasped, starting to panic. "Why am I here? What have you done wiv Pete?" He demanded, knowing full well that Kodiak Jack's specialty was killing animals. The repulsive old man laughed.

"What, you mean bird-brain?" He spat on the floor. "He didn't even realize that I was there. Didn't realize you was gone at first. Some friend he is, eh Vincey?" He winked, sending goosebumps across Vince's body. "Glad you woke up, though. Didn't mean to give you so much tranquilizer. Gave you a yeti-sized dose!" He laughed, slapping his knee. "You'se lucky you has such a good tolerance!" Despite his fear, Vince was livid.

"What do you mean, you gave me a yeti-sized dose? You could have killed me, you wanker!" Jack laughed, grabbing Vince's hand and licking it. Vince's face contorted with horror as a thought occurred to him. "And what did you do to me while I was unconscious?" He demanded, patting his clothes and hair to ensure that everything was still in place.

"Oh nothin..." he replied, winking. "Much." Vince recoiled as Jack licked his lips, eyeing Vince from head to toe, his breathing accellerating.

"Don't touch me!" He warned, stepping backwards until he hit the corner of the room. "Stay away from me!"

"Oh, no, Vincey. I loves ya, and you'se rightfully mine. I plan on taking what's owed to me." Vince squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the feeling of Kodiak Jack's hands as they wandered across his body and even through his _hair_ (gasp!).

"Howard," He whimpered. "Help me!"

"Oh, he ain't comin', Vincey. Don't worry about us bein' interrupted. And I don't take kindly to ya yellin' other blokes' names while we's busy, you understand?" Although Vince tried to push Jack off, the mountain man was far too strong, and merely laughed at Vince's inneffective attempts.

"Please stop this..." Vince whispered as Jack unzipped his jacket and explored his chest under his shirt. "Howard... where are you?"

* * *

"Doesn't this thing go any faster?" Howard asked impatiently, staring at the speedometer in the car.

"Ever heard of a speed limit?" Naboo retorted. "The last thing we need is to get pulled over by the police, goin' too fast with a stoned ape at the wheel."

"Yeah," Howard conceded. "I suppose so. But hurry up."

"Well are we almost there?"

"Dunno... it looked different the other night, you know?" Howard searched desperately for any landmark at all. Naboo shook his head again.

"Useless." Howard ignored his remark, scanning the surroundings.

"Aha! There! Turn there!" He shouted, recognizing the place he had talked to the homeless yeti. He had the door open before the car was even in park, sprinting through the doors and past the front desk, where the receptionist was now attracting flies. He ran down the corridor, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the two yetis guarding the door. They growled deep in their throats at him, brandishing their claws. "Um... I'm just here to have a chat with your father," he told them, as calm as he could possibly be in this situation.

"Is busy with pretty lady," The taller one said, the shorter nodding seriously. It was clear that they had been instructed to let no one pass. Howard's heart plunged straight to his stomach.

"That's not a lady! That's my best friend, Vince!" He shouted, desperation in his voice.

"So... Vincey is not lady?" The shorter one asked, obviously confused by this revelation. Howard lost what little composure he had managed to maintain up until this point.

"You can't call him that, you overgrown walking carpets! Only I'm allowed to call him that!" He shouted. The young yetis backed up, covering their faces with their paws.

"Calm down, Howard," Naboo called as he and Bollo made their way towards where Howard and the yetis stood. "You're scarin' them."

"Scaring them? They're helping facilitate the rape of my best friend!"

"Which is your fault. Besides, they're just babies, Howard. Yeti's aren't mature until about firty years of age."

"Even so! Let's get a move on, sir!"

"Listen, children," Naboo addressed the young creatures, his voice gentle. "Your dad is going to hurt our friend, Vince. He is going to hurt him very badly. You don't want Vincey to get hurt, do you?"

"Why hurting?" The shorter one asked, concern in her voice. "Don't want hurting Vincey."

"No. Don't want hurting," The taller one agreed. "We like Vincey. Is pretty."

"Would you stop saying that?" Howard interrupted, Naboo giving him a murderous look.

"Shut it, small-eyes," Bollo grunted.

"Please let us in," Naboo implored. "So that Vincey doesn't get hurt."

"Okay," said the tall one, stepping aside. "No hurting Vincey." As soon as their lumbering forms were out of the way of the door, Howard was through the door, quickly but silently enough that he didn't alert Jack of his presence. At first, he thought he'd been seen, as he heard his name called from the other room. When he got closer, however, he realized that it was Vince calling him.

"Howard, please help me," he moaned. Howard charged forward.

"Get off him, you disgusting old berk!" Howard shouted, pushing Jack roughly away from Vince. "I told you not to mess with him, no sir. I'm not the same person you knew. Howard Moon is a changed man, since we last met. Yes, sir." He danced around the old man, brandishing his fists and hands in alternating boxing and karate poses.

"What, since last night?"

"No... the time before that... never mind! That's not the point!"

"Howard, you've come to save me!" Vince shouted happily, relief evident in his face.

"You's gonna be sorry you messed with me, boy," the mountain man warned. "Jeff! Bertha! Git in here and help me!" He shouted, the two yetis charging in to stand beside their father, baring their claws.

* * *

A/N: Yay, chapter three! This chapter is the first fanfic of the year that I typed at school. that's where I got the majority of my fanfiction done last school year, was just around campus somewhere b/c I had a lot of time of just waiting for the next class. I've got a few breaks this semester, too, so hopefully I'll get more done than I did over the summer. I won't be working as much, either, because my school schedule is kind of in the middle of the day and in the way of work schedule. I like money, but I am also a very lazy person. I like having down time. you should be happy, though, because that means more fanfiction from me. :)

I've been working on this one the most, mainly because I actually know what exactly I want to happen, and also I've been watching a lot of Mighty Boosh. I keep showing it to people and watching it with them, and everyone I've showed it to loves it :) I figure it's a good thing to do, spread the joy that is the Boosh.

thanks for reading! let me know what you think. I really appreciate everyone who's been reviewing, and I want you to know that whenever I get a review, you brighten my day. :)

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	4. Chapter 4

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Four~

* * *

"Oh no, Bollo! They've gone in to back up their dad!" Naboo exclaimed as the two yetis rushed into the room. "What are we going to-" He was cut off by the ringtone of the alligator phone (peacock dreams... peacock dreams...). "'Ello?"

"Naboo? What's the situation looking like, mate?" The less-than-subtle voice of Tony Harrison blared at him.

"Pretty bleak, honestly," Naboo admitted.

"Well, 'ave no fear, the H-Man has gotten your powers back for you, saved the day once again- 'ello? Naboo? Owwh, 'ave you hung up on me? With no thanks, after what I just done for you? This is an outrage, I tell you! An outrage!"

* * *

"Outta my way, small-eyes!" Demanded Kodiak Jack as he charged towards Howard. "Ain't nothin' that can gets between me and my Vincey!"

"Would everyone stop calling him that?" Howard shouted, bracing himself against Jack's weight. "And I think, sir, that you'll find that my eyes are quite average-sized for my head!"

"What," the toothless man taunted. "You don't like me talkin' about **my** Vincey like that?" He shoved the man off of him and pinned him roughly to the floor. Just as the two yetis leapt to their father's rescue, they were hit by a bolt of green light. A moment later, they shrunk down to the size of small children. When they charged Howard, he was able to hold them at bay with one arm, much like he had stopped Tommy from attacking his 'mortal enemy:' Vince the mod- King of the Mods, if you wanna get technical about it.

"He's not yours! And I'm the only one allowed to call him that!" Howard couldn't be sure, as he was again wrestling with Jack, but he thought that he saw Vince smile a bit. The two yeti children were now sniffing at him, making sure that he wasn't hurt, and shooting concerned looks at their father as he shouted their names. Suddenly, Jack charged forward. "OUCH!" Howard bellowed as he was headbutted in the stomach. "Get off me, you bleeding lunatic! And stay the hell away from Vince, if you know what's good for you, yeah?" He punched him forcefully in the stomach, forcing the air out of his lungs. Once Jack was down, he lurched to his feet, scrambling to locate Vince.

"And now for you," Naboo said, walking from where he stood in the doorway to where Kodiak Jack lay on the floor, the wind knocked out of him. He turned his full attention to Jack, while Howard rushed to help Vince off of the floor. "What should I do to you?" Bollo leaned close, whispering something to Naboo. "Yeah," the shaman nodded, crossing his arms as he stared disdainfully at the would-be rapist. "Listen. I'm going to erase all of your human memories- in other words, any contact you've had with humans for your whole life time. Shouldn't be too many to erase, from the looks of you, but still. I'll leave the memories of your... encounters... wiv the yetis. You'll fink you're a yeti, and you'll be able to live peacefully among your own people. It will work out perfectly. You won't be able to hurt Vince- especially since you won't remember him- and we won't have your blood on our hands, not to mention the weight on our conscience, and your children will be able to grow up wiv their father." Naboo explained everything with a tone of sort of mild interest, but overall indifference. "I'll have to take you and your kin somewhere secluded. Until I can get around to it, you'll have to fit in this cage," he told the mountaineer, producing a cat-carrier from somewhere behind him. Another flash of green light and a brief struggle later, Kodiak Jack was sitting (oh-so-happily) in the cat-carrier, shaking his tiny fist at Naboo and shouting obscenities that sounded less threatening when several octaves higher.

"Noooo, yew queer dress-wearin' witchdoctor!" he squeaked. "How's I supposed to make sweet love to my Vincey when I's this size?" Naboo gave the cage a shake.

"Oh, shut it. Don't you push it, you. You're lucky we're peaceful people," he told him, indicating Bollo and himself. "Most gorillas would have ripped your head and your limbs off by now. And most shamans would have hexed the living daylights out of you by now. Or invited you to a party. They are pretty prone to doing that as well... but that's not somefing I want to do."

"Naboo," Bollo grunted.

"Wot is it, Bollo?"

"You're rambling again. Quit hogging all of screentime." Naboo sighed, bowing his head forward.

"Yeah, you're right. No one wants to hear me prattle on. Well, let's get back to the actually interestin' stuff than, shall we?"

* * *

"Vince, are you alright, little man?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Howard. Fanks for savin' me. One moment, okay?" He held up a finger to shush Howard's onslaught of apologies and the like. "'Ey, Naboo. What's goin' to happen to these little ewoks we have here, eh?" He asked, gesturing to the two still miniature yetis, who were now standing peacefully next to Bollo.

"Yeah, I've already worked it all out. What's going to happen, is... we've been through this. Skip to the next part, yeah?" Oh, right. Sorry.

* * *

"No, we can't do that!" Vince protested, after listening to Naboo's plan. "The man's an **arse**! A total deadbeat father, not to mention a bully. You should hear the kinds of things he says to 'em! Calls 'em all sorts of names and such. I even seen him kick poor Bertha! Nah, we can't let 'im have custody." Naboo scratched his turban, deep in thought.

"Well," he said slowly. "What about their mother?" Vince shook his head, grimacing.

"No good," he said regretfully. "They've got different mums, but the fing with yetis is, they're very forgetful creatures. None of them can remember which ones are their mums. Yeti law forbids adoptions as long as the parents are still alive. Apparently, usually the male picks one mate and remembers which one it is, staying wiv the mate until she has her baby. That's also why human/yeti children don't usually survive. They did because he got snowed in there and when they were born he took them." Naboo raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" He shrugged. "I talked to the two of them while Howard was fightin' to defend my honor. Wanted to make sure they were taken care of, yeah?"

"Fair enough. Well..." Naboo was silent for a moment as he studied the portable crystal ball he'd pulled from his robes and inflated while Vince had explained. Howard was speechless, in shock that they could be sitting there so calmly discussing yeti custody of all things after what had just (almost) happened. He shook his head. He'd let the sunshine kid handle this. He'd talk to Vince later when there weren't so many distractions. He'd redressed himself, although his once sparkly jacket had dirt on it, and had been torn in a couple of places. Although he didn't **_act_** bothered, Howard could tell that it bothered him immensely. After all, Vince's clothes were second important only to the preservation of his hair. And in the tussle between himself and Jack, his hair **hadn't** been preserved. It was all mussed (but not in the fashionable way, mind) and there were twigs and sticks stuck in it. There were frizzy bits, and he could almost feel the split ends forming. He shivered, hugging himself tightly. This whole thing was a nightmare, although it still could have been so much worse. _At least_ he thought happily, _Howard came to save me this time..._ He smiled slightly. "Well," Naboo said again, finally, snapping him from his thoughts. "I've just done a quick scan of yeti custody laws, and apparently, if neither parent is able or willing to properly care for the child, or if they are abusive, the children may reside with permanent foster families." Vince grinned, nodding.

"What do you fink, Naboo? We could use some extra security around the shop, if they wanted to stay, I fink." Naboo nodded once.

"Agreed. It's decided then. You," he said to Kodiak Jack, kicking the side of the cat-carrier, "get to go back to the yetis alone, to live among the women who love you. You stupid prick." He turned back to Vince. "Well, we'd better be getting back. I'll take Bollo and these guys wiv me, I'll leave the keys wiv Howard, yeah? See you guys back at the shop?"

"Wait up there, sir. Why can you just be off, and we have to take the car? You can transport them, but not us sir?"

"Transport of magical animals," Naboo explained. "Since I've shrunk this guy down and revoked him of his human status, he counts to. Can't do it wiv you guys, 'fraid to say. Besides, someone needs to get the car back to the shop."

"Bollo drove it here! He should take it back!" Naboo shrugged.

"Sorry mate, but I fink you'll find that ultimately, it's your job, because this whole fing is your f-"

"Shut up already!" Howard cut in. "Just get out of here! Leave already! What are you waiting for, sir?" He blinked, and a moment later, everyone but he and Vince had gone.

* * *

"Why leave so suddenly?" Bollo asked Naboo as the the shaman broke apart the fragrant buds onto the tabletop.

"Because," the shaman lisped, "they've got some fings to work out... in private. They'll be back soon enough." He dusted his fingers off, scooping the pile of crumbled, dried leaves onto a piece of paper and then funneling it, tapping it to ensure that everything fell into the bowl of the bong. He finished packing the bowl, motioning for the small group to gather closer around. "Alright now, children," he addressed the yetis. "Watch us, and do exactly as Bollo and I do." The two creatures grunted eagerly as they watched first Naboo take a deep hit. It was Bollo's turn next, and then Bertha's (ladies first, even among yetis). She copied Naboo and Bollo perfectly, as did her brother. They giggled, making terrifying, low gargling sounds in their chests that would have been terrifying to someone who didn't know any better. "Stay with us, kids," the tiny shaman said between coughs, "and we'll teach you well."

* * *

A/N: Woohoo, chapter four! I actually got this typed last night, right after I published chapter three, but I didn't want to post them both at once. you know, I have to spread it out, at least a little (I wanted to wait longer to post it, but I'm too impatient)!

Just a couple of notes for this chapter:

~I know parts of it are kind of oddly worded or just plain weird, but think about how weird the show is. they often acknowledge the fact that it's a show, which is what I tried to do when Bollo told Naboo to quit hogging screentime. it makes me think of Yu-Gi-Oh abridged when they're saying how Bakura isn't a main character, so he can't have much screentime. also when Naboo said to skip ahead- in the Eels episode, when Howard tells Vince what happened, he looks at the camera and says that they've seen it, so to skip ahead.

~what? yeti custody laws? wtf is that about? again, something random that occurred to me, and seemed like it could be fairly british humor (I live in Michigan, so I have to do my best :D), so I figured why not.

~also, I apologize if anyone doesn't like the fairly detailed description of them smoking in the end. I mean, they're always smoking, so I figure it's okay. plus I added a warning in the description about it, so... yeah. if you don't like it, then I'm sorry, but... yeah.

I didn't have half this written before I typed it up. because what I do is I have my notebook that I can take places and write and not stand out and have to lug my computer around with me. also, I like writing cursive, so I have two or three full notebooks (different colors of ink throughout) of entirely fanfiction. so half the time, when I get backed up, it isn't because I haven't written it, it's because haven't gotten around to typing it up yet/I can't find the notebook. but I was working on my Russian homework earlier, which is in the same notebook as my fanfic. so, when I got to the page where the fanfiction starts (about page five), I just started typing up this chapter. and then I got about half of what I'd written typed up, and had a couple of ideas, and just randomly came up with the rest and kept filling in bits.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

thanks for listening to me ramble! let me know what you think! I'll love you even more than I already love you if you leave me reviews!

~alex~


	5. Chapter 5

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Five~

* * *

"Well," Howard laughed awkwardly, staring at the spot where Naboo had been standing, silently cursing the tiny shaman. He had not been wanting this conversation with Vince right now, although he knew it had to happen. "That was abrupt."

"Howard?" Vince called tentatively.

"No, no, Vince. Please listen," Howard interrupted, putting his hands up and not letting Vince get a word in. "I'm sorry, little man. What I did to you was... inexcusable."

"Howard?"

"It won't happen again, no sir. Not as long as you stick around Howard TJ Moon..." Howard was so busy twiddling his thumbs and trying to explain himself that he didn't even notice the tears that had welled in Vince's eyes, or that Vince had come to stand just behind him.

"Howard?" Vince whispered. Howard jumped in surprise.

"Oh, sorry little man, didn't see you there- hey, now, what is it? Vince, I'm so sorry, I swear-"

"Howard..." Vince's voice broke, the tears spilling over. "Fanks for saving me," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Howard's torso. Howard, not usually one to like being touched, almost rejected the hug- until he thought about the fact that he owed him the comfort.

"Vince... Vincey." Howard wasn't sure what to do or say to comfort him, other than to just hug him and try his best, holding him as he sobbed. He'd never seen Vince in this state; Vince was the happiest, most cheerful person he knew! Sunshine and rainbows and all that... "There, there..." he whispered, rubbing Vince's back in comforting circles.

"Fanks, Howard. I... I'm sorry I shouted at you last night," he sniffled, rubbing his nose with his sleeve.

"Hey now, don't get your shirt all dirty. Use my handkerchief," Howard told him, digging the square of cloth out of his pocket and passing it to Vince.

"Fanks for always taking care of me." Howard blinked in surprise.

"What are you talking about? Have you forgotten whose fault this whole mess is?" Vince smiled.

"Well... no. But he didn't actually get to... you know... do what he wanted. You saved me, like you always do."

"Hey now, little man, you save me an awful lot, too, you know," Howard protested. Vince shrugged, nodding.

"Yeah, that's true enough, but Howard... you probably could've gotten yourself out of a lot of the messes on your own, if you'd actually tried, you know?"

"What are you saying? Are you implying that I never tried to escape?" He was mildly offended.

"Well... I guess you're right. But that's not what we were talking about! Quit changin' the subject!"

"Heh, didn't even, er, notice that I'd done it. You know, changed the subject." Howard always had rambled, whenever he would get nervous. "But Vince, I'm very sorry about what I did, and I swear, Vince-"

"Howard!" Vince shouted, surprising them both. "I don't care about that. I'm not angry wif you." Howard blinked, confused.

"What do you mean, you're not angry with me? I'm your best mate! How do you not hate my guts after something like that?" Turning away from Vince, he rolled up his sleeve and began twisting the skin until it was red.

"Howard, stop givin' yourself chinese burns. Just... please." The hint of desperation in the last word made Howard turn around to find Vince sitting on the edge of the dingy bed, slumped over with his face hidden behind his hands.

"Vince, little man, are you okay?"

"Of course not, you berk," Vince replied, slightly muffled.

"Do you want me to leave?" Vince's head shot up.

"Why the fuck would you think I would want you to leave?" He snapped back.

"Woah, now, little man. I was just making sure you didn't want to be away from me." Vince rolled his eyes, shaking his head- looking slightly more cheerful, though.

"Howard... _Howard._ I already told you I'm not mad at you. I don't care. I can't be mad at you right now... I mean, you're my best mate. I need you..." He didn't mean it to sound like that, but once he'd said it, he realized exactly how it sounded. "I mean, we're a team, you know?" Howard nodded, smiling nervously.

"Yeah, we're a team..." He couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. Every time Vince made a comment that could be construed in any way romantic at all, Howard felt very self-conscious. Not because he liked Vince like that really, just because, well, they were both blokes, and after all, Vince was his best mate. Not his wife, contrary to popular belief. _Not that he wouldn't make a good one._The second the thought crossed his mind, he was shocked. "Vince?"

"Yeah?" Howard's heard flopped in his chest, choking him.

"...N-nothing. Never mind. Have to be getting back soon, you know." He cleared his throat.

"Come oh, Howard. What were you going to say?" Vince asked quietly, his expression deadly serious. He wasn't joking around this time; Howard could tell that this was important.

"Well... I was just..." he was so close to telling him how he felt! "God, Vince. What if something horrible had happened to you? Where would I be without my sunshine kid? We balance each other. My dark brooding act, your happy one... fuck, Vince," He finally broke down. "I love you. So much. I'm sorry, and I understand if you don't care, or if you want to laugh at me again..." yeah, so he was still a little bitter about the incident in the tundra. "I deserve for you to hate me." He started twisting the skin on his arm again, until a smaller, more petite hand landed on his.

"Howard, don't hurt yourself, mate. You _don't_ deserve it. I love you too, even if you get to be a right wanker sometimes." Howard stared at him, open-mouthed.

"B-but... I... me?"

"Who else?"

"Oh, I dunno. Those two electro girls? Or either of those two goth girls... or the girl at the party... or any of the countless girls you bring back to the shop, without bringing anyone for me." Again, a little bitter, but how could he not be bitter, watching the man who was not only his main love interest, but his best friend parade around with all manner of attractive females and leaving Howard completely left out? Of course he was bitter.

"Howard... those girls are mostly for show, to be honest." Howard raised an eyebrow at him.

"For show? What's that mean?"

"Well, I am pretty fabulous, and I do have an image to uphold. I can't have people think that I can't get girls, now can I? Besides, if they want to party and have fun, then who am I to stop them?" He had a point about them having fun, but as for the image...

"So I'm not good enough for your image?" Howard asked, his voice only slightly cold. Vince sighed.

"I didn't mean it like that. I have to have someone, you know? I can't just go around without anyone. And you... well, you always seemed so keen on Gideon at the Zooniverse, and then you went off with that jazz pencil case girl after your party... you seem to be doing pretty well yourself, compared to how you used to be."

"Well excuse me- wait, what?" He had been expecting a jab at his music preference, or his thin mustache, or his impeccable fashion sense, not this.

"What I'm sayin' is that I didn't fink you really fancied me, and I wasn't too keen on all the girls thinkin' that I fancied you, if there wasn't any hope for it."

"You absolute idiot! I told you that I loved you in the tundra, and you laughed at me!" He'd actually tried, right?

"And I said that I loved you too! You were upset about me laughin', but that's just me. I'm the sunshine kid, I laugh for no reason. You just caught me off guard, surprised me. I wasn't laughin' at you. I did try to tell you that, you know." Yeah, now that he thought about it, Howard remembered that conversation...

"That was years ago! You didn't think that you could bring it up again? Maybe we could go work off of it?" Vince shrugged.

"I dunno, I fought you'd moved on!"

"I'm not you; my attention span is longer than that of a goldfish, you know. I don't move on so quickly! I'm not always changing with the wind, like someone I know."

"Yeah, Bollo's pretty unpredictable," Vince said seriously, his face breaking into a smile when Howard glared at him.

"You know damn well what I mean."

"Aww, lighten up, Howard. I've just nearly been bummed by a madman. Let me have my fun." Well, when he put it that way... "And at least listen to me, alright mate?" Howard nodded. "I do really like you, but I didn't think it would work between us, and I didn't want to lose you as a friend. Think about all the good times we had, mate. We wouldn't want to lose that, would we? I mean, you're my best mate. Where would we be if it got all awkward, and we couldn't even crimp?" Without hesitation, they launched into a perfect crimp about just that subject, from when Dennis had thanked him for 'showing him a whole new world of gaydom,' right in front of Naboo and Bollo.

"Awkward, awkward, makes it so you can't talk,

awkward, awkward, makes you want to turn and walk,

oh, come back (I said) oh, come back,

we can't have it like that,

no can't have it like that,

awkward, awkward, doesn't mean you have to gawk!"

Unfortunately, the crimp hadn't exactly helped in its original context, but here, it did the job. Both men laughed, Howard shaking his head.

"You're right, Vince. Good times. But what does this mean now? You didn't want to make it awkward, but now that the topic has been breached, we can't very well go back and pretend like it didn't happen, now can we?"

"We did that about the kiss," Vince pointed out.

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to do that with this," Howard snapped back. "I don't want to pretend that I don't love you, and that you don't love me. We won't ruin our friendship, we'll be sure of it!"

"You sure, Howard? It's a pretty big change, dating guys."

"Well, you would know," Howard muttered under his breath. Vince nodded.

"Yep. You sure you're up for it?"

"For you, Vince? I'm up for anything."

* * *

A/N: And that's my attempt at a (short) crimp. I couldn't/didn't want to do a longer one, so... hopefully it's okay.

so what do you think? is it too far-fetched? does it make any sense? does it jump around too much? I dunno, I'm not entirely pleased with it, although I think I did a fair job of imitating their bickering.

they're at least together, eventually. :)

I dunno how much longer this fic is going to be, as I pretty much resolved the main conflict in it. I might just inject it with all the fluff I've been saving up for and call it good. :D let me know what you think! I love getting your reviews; they make me so happy!

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	6. Chapter 6

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Six~

* * *

When they arrived back at the shop, Naboo and Bollo were already in bed and the shop was peaceful and silent. Despite the calm surroundings, Howard became more and more apprehensive about their sleeping situations the closer and closer they got to the room that they shared. He didn't want Vince to be uncomfortable. It hadn't ever been uncomfortable before, but then again, that was before they'd awkwardly confessed their love for each other, and before Vince had almost been raped by a lunatic. Vince's day had been very long and very traumatizing, and he was probably quite tired. Howard wasn't sure what sort of emotional state he would be in, but he didn't want to make anything worse. It was only bothering him because he wanted Vince to be comfortable. There was no way Howard was nervous. Howard TJ Moon, nervous? No sir.

"Glad to be back here," Vince said, looking around fondly at his side of the room. He had his Jagger shrine, his issues of the three-hourly magazine, cheekbone, that he was so fond of, and tons of band posters, from every genre imaginable, covering the wall. He had a large mirror next to his bed, and a number of hair supplies on the table, and, of course, his many clothes. Only the ones he had with him, of course. The rest were in storage. He'd whined and pouted for a week when Naboo told him he could only pick out 3000 articles of clothing to start with (and then build from there) when they moved from the apartment to the shop, but had eventually had no choice but to check the majority of them into storage. Howard's side of the room was a bit more organized and subdued- and he liked it that way. After all, it was a simple room for a man with a simple truth about him. He had a couple of his [EXPLORERE MAG] magazine on the side table, and that one famed pencil case (yes- the one from the story! Stories worked even better with props, he'd found), still full of pencils (sharpened but unused). On the wall was a Jurgen Hubermeister[?] poster, featuring the star of his latest film- a sad cabbage jumping up and down in a poorly-lit kitchen, holding a vegetable peeler in his hand, a framed photo of Tommy (pre-calcium buildups), and another photo of himself as Hamlet. In the corner next to his collection of jazz records was his very small clothing collection (mostly turtlenecks and Hawaiian shirts). His trumpet lurked under the bed next to the typewriter, as if tempting him to summon the spirit of Jazz. He left it alone, though, bringing out the typewriter on occasion, only to give up a few days later with no ink, no inspiration, and no writing. "Well, I'm feelin' pretty tired, so I'm going to just go to bed now, yeah?" Howard nodded, forcing a smile.

"Alright then. Goodnight, Vince."

"Night Howard." Vince was asleep just minutes after he crawled into bed. Howard, however, was having a hard time falling asleep. He lay awake, eyes wide open and thoughts racing. It wasn't too horribly long, however, before the nightmares started, and Vince began making sounds of distress and calling out. "No... Get off a me, you old pervert... hey, stop touching my hair! You'll mess it up!" He began thrashing about. "No! No, you can't cut it! Howard, don't let him touch my hair, please, Howard!" Leave it up to Vince (and his dreams) to focus solely on his hair.

"Vince!" Howard whisper-shouted across the room. The only response was a violent jerk and a pathetic-sounding whimper. "Vince... Vince!" He didn't want to have to yell and wake up Bollo and Naboo, but Vince wasn't hearing him, so he crawled out of bed and made his way to where Vince slept fitfully. "Vince! Hey, Vincey, look. It's me!" Vince's eyes flew open, and he blinked at Howard a few times before rubbing them.

"Howard?" He finally asked groggily. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. You were just having a nightmare, okay? Go back to sleep now." Vince smiled, turning over on his side without another word, making Howard wonder how much of the conversation he would remember in the morning. Once he was sure that Vince was okay, Howard got settled into his bed and was just falling asleep when he was jostled awake. Annoyed, he searched for the culprit. His anger dissipated immediately when he saw Vince standing next to the bed and staring at him, expression pleading and frightened. "What is it, little man?"

"I..." He shivered in the cold night air. "I don't want to be alone. Can I stay here?" Howard was taken aback by the request, but definitely didn't mind in the slightest.

"Oh- um, well, yeah, you can stay here," he stammered, getting all tongue-tied. "Just don't take all the blankets." The smile that Vince gave him overruled any misgivings that he'd had about letting him sleep in his bed.

"Thanks, Howard." He wrapped his arms around Howard's arm as he crawled into the bed, yawning hugely. "You're the best." Howard swallowed uncomfortably. Not that he really minded Vince touching him, per say, but he still didn't like being touched, and he wasn't sure how to react to Vince hugging his arm tightly to his body and falling asleep with it clamped in his grasp. Well, there wasn't much he could do but lay there, letting Vince hug his arm, and more or less watching him sleep. His face was so peaceful in sleep... not like normal, when he was jumping about, talking, laughing, singing... He smiled at the thought of Vince's perpetually bouncy demeanor... and how it was usually aimed towards him. Any time Vince brought around any of his new "mates," or the latest girl to catch his eye, Howard always acted out, proving his coolness to Vince and his friends- or so he had always thought. So he was eager to please. Truthfully, he wouldn't give a shit about what Leroy, or Jacques LeCube, or any of the others that Vince hung out with thought of him, but he still had to at least try to be smooth, and daring, and handsome- for Vince. "Christ," Howard muttered, the realization of just how badly he had it for Vince finally hitting him. "I am in love with you, Vince Noir," he whispered, as if he himself couldn't believe it. Of course, he couldn't say it like that to him when he was awake; he would never live it down if Vince heard him talking like that-

"I'm in love wiv you too, Howard," A sleepy voice responded quietly, trailing off at the end as Vince fell back asleep. Again, Howard wondered how awake Vince had been and how much of it he would remember in the morning (hopefully not much). Although he had been unable to even consider sleep before, Vince's warm presence in the bed was making him drowsy, and he was so comfortable... feeling slightly more confident, he lightly wrapped his arm (the one that wasn't currently caught in a death-grip) around Vince, holding his small frame closer to his own. He sighed, perfectly content, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A/N: alright, I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I didn't really have anything else to put in this chapter, and I didn't want to try to stuff it full of useless crap just to make it longer. hopefully you like it, even in all of its shortness.

crap! I thought I posted this a long time ago! I'm soooo sorry! Gosh, I'm a bad person. the next one is a little longer than this, although still not terribly long.

It was really sad, my rat, Ren, died... she died when I was holding her. :'( but now I have a new baby rat, named Mei (like from My Neighbor Totoro!). She really likes my cat, Lacey (who hates my rats with a burning passion), and my other rats, Raissa and especially Phoebe (I call Phoebe my "mother superior" rat, because-besides being black and white- she's the oldest and has seen four other rats- not including Mei and Raissa- come and go). She's really cute. :3

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

thank you for all of your support, everyone. let me know what you think of this chapter, will you? as well as what you think about the way things are going. :)

~alex~


	7. Chapter 7

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Seven~

* * *

Neither of them woke until late into the next morning, when Naboo and Bollo realized that their morning employees (Howard and Vince) had neglected to show up.

"What the hell do you think you two piss-offs are doin,' still in bed?" The shaman reprimanded from the door. "And what the hell are you doin' in the same bed?" He asked, watching their reactions. Vince looked as if he hadn't heard; he'd brought his pocket mirror out and was working on making himself look presentable. Howard, however, looked rather ruffled, his cheeks burning bright red.

"Er, um, what do you mean? Why wouldn't we? We've shared a bed many times. Often, actually. We do often. I mean, why wouldn't we?"

"Hmmm... well, there'd better not be anything funny goin' on at all, you know? If I fink you're doin' anyfing inappropriate to him, I have Bollo rip your arms off," The shaman told him, giving him a warning look that was just serious enough to let Howard know that he meant business.

"Um, excuse me, sir, but I'm not going to be doing anything to him that he doesn't want-"

"And what does that mean?" Naboo demanded, glaring at Howard with eyes narrow enough to rival Howard's own tiny peepers.

"It means," Vince said, finally stepping in to the aid of a fairly flustered Howard, "That if he's touchin' me at all, I'll be the one advocatin' it. Yeah?"

"Well, it took you fools long enough," Bollo grunted.

"Oh? And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Howard demanded.

"Only vat it's been pretty obvious since season one that you tow have just been itchin' to 'ave a go wiv each other. A bit annoyin,' really. Fought you'd 'ave figured it out by now, but apparently you two dimwits are too stupid to see that. Meanwhile, Bollo and I 'ave 'ad to put up wiv your flirtin' for the last four years. So it's abut time you fools get on wiv it." Vince and Howard were speechless. Their first instinct, of course, was to argue, but were left silent when they were unable to think of any adequate arguments. "Now if you'll excuse us, it's gettin' pretty disgustingly sweet in here, you two hangin all over each over like vat. I'm gettin outta here before I'm sick all over myself. You comin, Bollo?" The gorilla nodded, grunting in agreement and following the small shaman into their own shared bedroom, leaving Vince and Howard clinging to each other in silenc.

"... Fair dues," Howard finally admitted. Naboo did have a point there.

"That's not exactly how I want to be woken up every morning," Vince yawned, stretching his long, thin limbs. "Although..." He fell silent.

"What is it, little man?" Howard asked, instantly concerned. "Everything alright?"

"Actually, it is alright," Vince said, smiling widely at him. "I was just finkin' how I don't mind at all, wakin' up next to you like this." Howard wasn't sure what to say.

"Get down here, you lazy berks!" Naboo's voice cut into the silence once again. They scrambled to obey him; ignoring Naboo could have some dire consequences.

* * *

"Howard," Vince whined, forehead now wrinkled in concern. "What do you fink Leroy and all me other mates are goin' to say?" Howard felt his heart sink. He had been worried that this might be a problem.

"About us being together?" Vince nodded. "Well, you're not exactly the straightest person, yeah? I mean, you must have been with other blokes, right?" Howard didn't like to think about it, but knew that it was a fact of life that Vince had more experience than he did.

"Well, yeah. That's not the thing. I mean, Leroy and I had a fing for a while." Howard ignored the twinge of jealousy and instant dislike for the other man.

"Well then, what's the problem?"

"Look, Howard, don't be offended, but it's... you. I mean, you're my tall, creepy jazz freak friend. What do you fink they'll say about vat?" Howard would have been offended, if he hadn't known that he meant it as nicely as possible.

"Well... I don't know them very well, but does it really matter what they think about it?"

"Well, no... but I can't help but worry about it, you know? I mean, what am I supposed to do about parties and the like now that we're more or less together?" Howard sighed. Leave it to Vince to be overly concerned about his parties and social life.

"Well, Vince, considering that I don't want to go to most of the parties you like to go to, I don't think that will be too much of a problem. I'm not going to stop you from doing things that you love, and I know how much you enjoy dancing and partying... It'll work out well, though, because while you go out and party into the early hours, I can have a nice quiet night, by myself or with Lester, and I can listen to jazz or something like that. Yeah? Maybe don't go out every night, spend some time with me every now and then..." He didn't want to come across as sounding needy or clingy, but at the same time, he wanted Vince to know that he wanted to spend time with him.

"Well, yeah, you berk. You fink I'm gonna wanna be away from you all the time? And if you really really want to... nah, you wouldn't want to do vat." He shook his head, smiling knowingly.

"What?" Howard demanded.

"Well... you don't like to go out and about, but if you wanna get outta the shop for a bit tonight, there's a brand new jazz club opening down the street from the velvet onion... fought you might want to check it out wiv me?" Howard was speechless. Was Vince actually asking him on a date? And to a jazz club, nonetheless? "'Ello? Are you just goin to stare at me, or do you wanna go?"

"Sorry! Yes! Of course I'll go with you!" Howard blurted. "When? I mean, what time? You already said tonight. I'll have to, um, check my calendar, but I think I'm free tonight." Vince laughed at Howard's discomfort and eagerness.

"Aright, then. Let's go tonight... I fink Naboo and Bollo are goin' to be havin' a big shaman meeting here tonight anyway, and you know how those go." Indeed Howard did. Some things were better left unsaid and unmentioned. "Somefin' about givin' Naboo back his powers... guess he had them suspended." That could explain a lot... Howard had some things to talk about with Naboo later. "So... what about around five or so?" Howard nodded, a little too quickly.

"Oh, customer," Howard observed, straightening his jacket self-consciously. Vince grinned, gently tugging on the collar of Howard's jacket, pulling him down to his level and kissing him quickly on the cheek, leaving him flushed.

"I'm going to nip upstairs, forgot my topshop tie! Can't believe it; I just got that one yesterday. It's genius; have you seen it yet?" Howard shook his head. "But you can handle this here, yeah? Just hold out 'till I get back?" He winked, and Howard, still slightly in shock from the sudden display of affection, didn't respond other than to stare blankly at the little man.

"Excuse me, sir? I need to buy this, please." Howard smiled, again straightening his jacket (this time with no Vince there to mess it up). Of course he could handle this! He was Howard Moon!

* * *

A/N: so I realize that this chapter is somewhat shorter than the rest, but the next one will be much longer- and it will be the last chapter! I know, it's sad... but I might do another Mighty Boosh one, although probably after I've finished one of my Yu-Gi-Oh! ones.

Let me know what you think! remember, reviews will earn you my undying love (unless you're mean...). so review! :)

*as always, many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	8. Chapter 8

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Eight~

* * *

~this is it! the end!

* * *

After completing the purchase, Howard began rearranging stationery village, a nervous habit of his.

"Wot 'cha finkin' about?" Vince asked, again startling Howard with another surprise appearance.

"Nothing. Just focusing on the best way to arrange stationery village. It's a very serious pursuit of mine, you know?"

"Mm-hmm..." Vince mused in mock seriousness. "Well, what seems to be bothering you with the current..." he waved his hands about over the village, searching for the correct word, while still fighting to keep a straight face. He knew that if he laughed, Howard would be very upset, and he didn't want to blow his big night out with Howard. "layout?"

"Well," Howard began earnestly, steering the old-fashioned double-decker bus around the cup of paper clips. "Every time it goes around here, there's not enough room to turn left with out hitting the stack of notecards. Problem is, I like how everything else is arranged, except for that one spot. I just can't figure it out."

"Hmm..." Vince put his hands on his scrawny hips, his tongue between his lips in concentration. "Ah!" He finally said, raising one hand as if to comfort Howard. "I see your problem. Just switch out these two, yeah? The notecards and this little box of putty. They're the same shape, but the putty is smaller, so you've got more room at that spot. The notecards are on the end, now, so they have plenty of room." Howard's mouth was already open, ready to argue, but he remained silent when, after thinking the idea through for a moment, he realized that Vince was correct. Of course he was. "Wot 'cha fink, eh? Pretty good, yeah?" he reached out to swap the two, and Howard couldn't stop himself from reaching out and lightly swatting away the invading hand.

"Please, no touching." Vince rolled his eyes.

"Whateva. I can tell you one fing, though," he said, winking slyly at Howard. "That's not what you'll be saying later tonight." Howard gaped at him wordlessly. Because really, what is one supposed to say to that? Leave it to Vince to make that kind of vulgar statement. "Really, though, Howard... there was one fing I needed to ask you, although I'll probably wish I didn't." he looked a little self-conscious.

"What is it, little man? Don't worry, you can ask me anything."

"Well... ugh." Vince put his had to his forehead dramatically. "Can''t believe I'm asking you, of all people... what am I supposed to wear to a bleeding _**jazz **_club?" He emphasized his words with a sort of underlying horror, as though a jazz club was the worst fate imaginable.

"Oho, you've come to the right person! Give me a while to look at your clothes, see what you've got, and I'll put together something acceptable."

"Alright, fine. Here, I'll get you the picture catalog." He turned, digging through his very trendy backpack.

"...What?" Howard asked, puzzled." Vince tossed a thick volume at him.

"Catch! It's volume one of the catalog of all my clothing, arranged by color. Otherwise, it would take you ages to go through all of them. Oh, and no brown tonight, please. It will clash with my black hair." He'd been on a punk-goth kick again (as of earlier that morning), and so his hair had been dyed black and crimson. Howard sighed, shaking his head at his overly vain boyfriend.

"You're impossible, you know that? You choose your outfit," he decided, watching as Vince got distracted by his reflection in the glazed surface of an antique vase (or that's what Naboo had told them it was, although Howard had his doubts, due to the smaller hole in it and the suspiciously "herbal" smell).

"Oh, alright then. What would you recommend, you jazz freak?" Vince asked, winking.

"Erm, well, dark, boring stuff," he told him, getting a bit flustered. He knew that if he didn't emphasize the boring aspect, vince's outfit would probably contain feathers, sequins, jewels, or some hideously gaudy combination of the three.

"Aww, come on, Howard," he whimpered. "I hate boring."

"Oh, shut it. You wanted to know what to wear, so deal with it.

"Alright," Vince sighed, getting an idea for his outfit. "I'll make due..."

* * *

For once, Howard wasn't appalled at Vince's clothing choice. He wore black drainpipes that emphasized his thin figure. His shirt was almost entirely plain black, with buttons that matched the crimson highlights in his hair.

"Well? What do you fink? Boring enough for you?" Vince asked, the slight heels on his black boots clicking on the tile. As he walked forward, Howard saw that his shirt wasn't entirely plain; woven into the material were strands of tinsel the same color as the buttons and hair highlights, making him seem to glisten as he moved. "Well?" He asked an open-mouthed Howard again.

"Um, yeah. Plenty boring." Vince rolled his eyes.

"Boring? Look at you, you berk. You're practically drooling over there!"

"I am not! I'm just surprised that you don't look like a right ponce for once," Howard snapped quickly, but Vince wasn't fooled.

"Whateva. Are we going to go, or not?

"I've been waiting for you! Get in the car."

* * *

by the time they arrived, Vince looked physically sick.

"And why did I agree to go to this?" He whined.

"Agree? You suggested it! You can't back out now!" Howard reminded him. Vince smacked himself in the forehead.

"I was possessed or somefing. I wasnin't in my right mind! I don't want to go in!" Howard's heart sank. He'd been afraid that Vince would have second thoughts about going out with him.

"Well, we don't have to, if you, you know, really don't want to go in... he tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but Vince picked up on it and realized that Howard was worrying about their relationship.

"Aw, come on, Howard. Where's the friendly banter? You're supposed to argue back. I'm just givin' you a hard time, you know? That's how the show works!"

"Oh, right." Howard sighed, immensely relieved. "Well, I don't go out much, you know? I'm a bit nervous," he admitted.

"Don't worry! Vince demanded. "you'll have the most attractive companion of anyone there, that's for sure." Howard had to smile at Vince's confidence.

"Fair dues..."

"Besides, I'm good in social situations when you're not. You just leave it to me. You handle the creepy jazz aspect, I'll handle the socializing aspect of it."

"But that's how we always do things... let's just wing it. We can both try something new. You try being a bit like me, I'll try being a bit like you... we'll see how things go." Although vince was happy that Howard was going to try branching out, one huge problem remained.

"But Howard," Vince pleaded, voice almost desperate. "Jazz?"

"I know, little man. You can handle it, though. How about we go to your club next time? I can at least try to appreciate your music..." Vince sighed, realizing that it couldn't be helped.

"Alright. But don't try to play anything, okay? Last fing we need is for that freaky jazz bloke to show up again, yeah?"

"What? Oh, you mean the spirit of jazz? Don't worry about him. After that last fiasco, the shamans gave me a charm that's supposed to keep him away." Vince raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I don't trust the board of shamans, but... aren't they usually off their tits on drugs? Let's test that some other time, yeah? Where it won't be a huge deal if he does show up?" Howard nodded.

"Yeah, I had the same thought.."

"Alright, let's get this over with."

"Remember, try to keep an open mind, and I'll stay away from instruments."

Vince braced himself for a feeling of nausea when he walked in the door, but it never came. The worst he felt was mild distaste for the music- and mild distaste was something he could handle.

"Well, this jazz isn't so horrible..." he admitted. Howard nodded.

"Yeah, it's smooth jazz, the mildest and least agitating of all the subtypes of jazz. It's recommended for people like you to get used to jazz, as it very rarely triggers any sort of allergic reaction, even with people as allergic as you." What Vince didn't know was that he'd phoned ahead and requested that the night be dedicated to hypo-allergenic jazz.

"Well, that's good. I might actually like this, after a drink or two." Howard grinned widely, but Vince was already distracted by the sparkly table cloth, dark blue with gold sparkles to resemble the night sky. "See? I could have worn loads more sparkles and been okay."

"Well, sorry Vince. I've never been here, and I didn't know what it was like," he apologized, but Vince (with his goldfish attention span) wasn't even listening any more. "Hey, little man. I'll go grab some drinks, yeah? You stay here. Don't talk to strangers, and don't take anything they try to give you, just in case. Okay?"

"You're a bit paranoid, don't you fink? I mean really, this is a jazz club. Not a rave or nuffin like that," Vince protested, giving his tall friend a skeptical look. Howard sighed.

"Look, that's why I said 'just in case.' You never know. Alright? Best to have some safety guidelines laid down to begin with."

"Whateva." Vince pulled his pocket mirror from somewhere (Howard didn't know- didn't want to know) and began preening. As if he didn't already look pretty enough.. and true, a jazz club was a fairly safe place, but Howard still felt the need to warn Vince, as it seemed like a lot of the people they ran into (who seemed even the slightest bit shady, at any rate) wanted to rape poor Vince.

"Hello," he addressed the bartender. "I'll have a... um... flirtini and a whiskey." He hoped that they served flirtinis (apparently, they did), as it was the only drink he could remember the name of that Vince liked. Howard didn't drink much, and wasn't exactly sure what he wanted, but he knew that he liked whiskey. He returned to the table, where Vince was still fixing his hair- oblivious to the couple of people who had crept hopefully towards their table. Howard glared at them, sending them on their way without protest- although a rather attractive woman standing nearest Vince winked at Howard, looking pointedly between Howard and Vince. Well, it seemed like an encouraging gesture, at any rate. "Here you are, Vince." He pushed the flirtini toward his friend, whose eyes lit up when he saw what Howard had brought him.

"Oh, flirtinis! Thanks, mate!" Howard was glad for the low light to hide the blush that spread across his cheeks.

"Do you... want anything to eat?" He asked nervously.

"Nah, I'm good. You can get somefing, though." Howard passed on food as well, and they spent the next half hour or so sitting together, chatting and drinking. Howard noticed that Vince was going through his flirtinis rather faster than Howard was going through his own drinks, but chalked it up to the low alcohol content of his rather girly drinks- after all, something called a flirtini couldn't possibly be a proper drink, could it?

* * *

"'Oward, come on! Le's dance!" Vince slurred, slightly unstable on his feet as he tugged at Howard's sleeve to get him onto the dance floor. "C'mon, 'Oward. I wanna danccccccce! Ooh, look, the napkins sparkle tooo. I match them, Howard!" He giggled. "But le's dance now. Kay?" Okay, maybe the flirtinis had more alcohol than Howard had originally thought. There was no way that Vince would ever want to dance to this music while even slightly sober.

"Um... okay... you sure you're okay to be walking around like that?" Vince laughed, flashing Howard one of his most sincere, joy-filled (albeit slightly crooked-toothed) smiles, and Howard felt his heart jump.

"'F course I'm okay to walk 'round 'n' dance. You fink I stay sober all th' nights I go out, dancin' 'n' partyin'?" The thought hadn't really crossed Howard's mind, but now that he thought about it, it seemed obvious that no, of course he wouldn't be sober. For Vince, it was all about enhancing the moment. In other words, he like to get kinda fucked up on occasion (not that he wasn't always sort of naturally high). "'Ey, Howard," he "whispered," loudly enough for anyone within two feet of them to hear. "I've got somefin' to tell you," he said earnestly, his eyes wide (and slightly unfocused). "I's 'portant."

"Yeah? What its it, little man?"

"I... em... I..." he stopped, a look of panic crossing over his face as he swallowed hard and took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't feel very good..." He retched, and Howard was quick to steer him towards the bathroom, pushing past people.

"Excuse me, pardon me... excuse us, please. Need to get him to the bathroom..." At least everyone he pushed past seemed to understand the urgency of their journey to the bathroom, hurrying to get out of Vince's line of fire. All the while, he kept a wary eye on Vince, who looked like he was trying his hardest to keep the contents of his stomach down. Finally, they made it to the bathroom, where they were stopped by a rather squat American man.

"Sorry, no women in the men's room," he told Vince, who puked on his shoes.

"Woah there, Vincey! He is a man, thank you very much! Or well, he's male, at any rate," he snapped at the man, pushing past him and getting Vince to a stall just in time, as another round made its way up. "There, there... shh..." he whispered gently to Vince, holding his hair away from his face and rubbing his back softly as he vomited until there was nothing left. When he'd finished puking, he just lay there panting, his head resting on his arm. Howard helped him to his feet, still rubbing his back. "You okay now? Ready to go home?" Vince nodded miserably, clinging to Howard's hand. "Alright, then. Let's get you out of here."

"Howard?" Vince whispered, his voice hoarse. "Sorry for ruinin' our date..." he sniffled.

"Hey, don't be upset! It's not ruined! And besides, I should have made sure that you were properly hydrated... that's a very important thing to remember when consuming alcohol." Vince shook his head, chuckling a little. "Hey! What's so funny?" he demanded.

"Leave it to you to turn my stupidity around, to try and blame yourself. You'll probably give yourself Chinese burns... no, Howard. It's my own fault. I drank too much. I know better.." He sighed, wrapping his arms around Howard's waist and laying his head on his chest. "Fanks for takin' care of me, though. You do a good job." Howard smiled at his androgynous (but beautiful) boyfriend.

"Don't worry, Vince. I'll always take care of you."

* * *

Vince yawned and stretched as he got ready for bed.

"Well... did you have fun?" Howard asked tentatively, bracing himself for disappointment.

"Yeah," Vince nodded. "Until I puked. But once again, it's my fault, and it's not like I've never puked before. Fanks for takin' me out and lookin' after me."

"Someone has to look after you," Howard joked, laughing. His laughter died when he saw how sad Vince's smile was. "Vincey? What's wrong? What have I said?"

"Well... it's true, innit?" he asked. "Someone does always have to look after me. If they leave me on my own, I wake up next to some disgusting creep, wiv no memories of 'ow I got there. I'm a bit of a mess, really."

"Well..." Howard was a bit taken aback. "You may be a bit of a mess," he told him, deciding that it might be better to not argue with him. "But you're my mess, and while I'm taking care of you, the only one you'll be waking up next to is me." Vince beamed at him.

"I like that idea. Hey... remember earlier, when I said that I had somefing to tell you, but never finished what I had to say?"

"You didn't? I thought you just had to tell me that you were going to be sick all over the place."

"No! I really have somefing important!" He paused, moving closer to Howard. "I know I kind of told you before, but I want you to know that I'm serious, since I'm not very serious about most fings." He closed his eyes. "Howard... I really love you. I was going to tell you then, and then you took care of me when I got sick... that made me love you even more." Howard was stunned, and part of him even worried that Vince would laugh in a minute, saying how he was kidding. He knew that he wasn't kidding, though, and tat fact overwhelmed him.

"Vince.. I love you too. A lot. I dunno what I would do without you..."

"Probably become a bin-man," Vince suggested, only half-kidding.

"Yeah," Howard laughed, shaking his head. "You know me too well."

"On the contrary," Vince whispered, leaning closer to Howard, so that their noses were almost touching. "I don't think I know you nearly well enough." He stood on his tiptoes, stretching upward to close the distance between Howard's lips and his own.

"W-well," Howard stammered, once Vince had released him from the kiss. "We can fix that..."

"Oh, I fully intend on it," Vince told him. His next retort was interrupted, as Howard's lips found his again, and then completely forgotten.

* * *

A/N: Well, what do you think? do you like the end? I quite like this chapter. Sorry it took so long to get posted; I had it written in my notebook, and I was just really slow about typing it. :( on the other hand, it's a fairly long chapter, so hopefully it made up for it.

there are probably quite a few errors, but I don't feel like proofreading much right now. I've got a Russian test in an hour, and I should be studying that, instead of doing this. I can't help it, though. :)

I'll probably do another Mighty Boosh fic, because they're just so much fun to write, but first I have to finish my other stories... I'm way behind on them, too. *sigh*. oh well.

*many thanks, as always, to soundofmadness223*- we watched a TON of mighty boosh last night at my house together, and it inspired me to type this up.

thank you all so much for reading; I've really enjoyed writing this. who knows? maybe I'll do a follow-up for this story. :) let me know what you think!

~alex~


End file.
